Dear
Pierre,
Being a
girl who trains with a bunch of boys ( and other very few and a lot younger girls
) is an unusual thing in such a town but it’s something I really love and enjoy
and plan on doing for the rest of my life, well I know that you know all about this
and I’m not really trying to take a role as feminist because I kind of still don’t
exactly know what that is, I just wanted to put it this way to tell you about this
9 years old girl who trains with me, that seemed like a reflection of some of
what I used to be( and maybe still am).
So this Sunday
as I walked in, I said Hello to our “ sensei” and headed towards the locker
room like I always do, I found her there, I smiled and I tried to say something
funny ( you know Marie, she thinks she’s hilarious). I expected some reaction
or that she says something but she just smiled and went out too silently that
it got me thinking, why doesn’t she ever say a word? There is the other one
that never stops talking, she barely even answers when someone asks giving the
shortest answer possible, why...? But wait I think I understand why more than
anyone else.
Why does
she always sit in the corner and never tries to step up, or to blend in? (Why did
I? and why do I?) I bet she wonders a lot about how other people are already
there “on the dance floor”. And what does that little smile of hers mean “yeah
I heard you but I can’t think of anything to say but please just talk to me
more and don’t notice that I am?” I very suppose so.
Among all
the girls that came, she was the fastest to learn. Is it because she’s smart? Well she is, but I’m sure it’s because she takes
a step back and listens for as long as anyone had to speak that she comprehends
things more clearly. But does that make her overly shy? Or maybe it’s that she barely has something to
say that she finds so much time to listen; either way, why is she and why am I?
Because she
just doesn’t know that this world (this dance floor) belongs to her just as
much as it belongs to anyone else, that no one and nothing in the world has a
bit of right to hold your voice ( my voice) down regardless of how it sounds.
It’s funny how as I tell you this I’m
realizing most of it for the first time even though I’ve always known it, which is
making me want to think through it and look into myself deeper to learn more
about the world.
To more discoveries and beautiful things to
live my dearest Pierre.
Truly yours,
Marie.
